


the ways of love

by 4dreamie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Nohyuck, Not Actually Unrequited Love, someone please give donghyuck love hes been thru enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:45:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4dreamie/pseuds/4dreamie
Summary: after paying lee donghyuck to help him chase after na jaemin, fake friendships, growing bonds, planning to learn to love him in the process, lee jeno found himself falling for him instead.





	the ways of love

Jaemin has been Donghyuck’s good friend ever since middle school. That made it sound like the two go way back, but that wasn’t the case. The bond that the two shared was not special, nor could it be considered strong. If anything, the two are more like acquaintances who occasionally talk to each other about school works and hold short conversations about each other’s winter break activities that none of them cared enough to remember.

However, ever since graduating high school, leaving the once friends and heading on to meet new people who would soon become once strangers, they both had established on the idea of sticking together for the first year to eliminate the need to go through the disaster that is being stuck in a forced partnership with someone Donghyuck most likely wouldn’t want to work with, which honestly came as a shocker to him.

Jaemin was not an introvert. He was smart, gentle, outgoing with a bubble of charm wrapped around his figure. He was that above average looking guy who you want to befriend when you enter a new area but wasn’t brave enough to. He was the guy everyone buys snacks for in hopes to gain his attention.

And Donghyuck? He was their designated delivery person, or to put it badly, the overshadowed supposed best friend.

It didn’t bother him as much as most people had expected it to. In fact, he learned to turn the situation around when more and more of them came along with baskets of snacks and drinks and everything in between. He learned to benefit from it.

Donghyuck charged them for each task they needed him to do.

If he were going to be annoyed during morning period and lunch every day, disrupting his well-deserved sleep time after a whole night of flipping through textbooks carelessly (standing on top of Jaemin, Donghyuck is the grade genius), he might as well get something out of it. He wasn’t going to take Jaemin’s presents, those were meant for him, so he settled with cash, which he believed to be ten times better.

Donghyuck was not sure if he felt relieved or defeated when his classmates continue to come to him for help. Relieved because he got to earn a lot more without actually needing to work, and defeated because he was not sure if he really wanted to hand his only friend over to any of those timid girls who couldn’t even place a simple bag of chips on his desk when he was present.

And then there were times when a cute boy with a heart of gold comes up to Donghyuck for help, and he didn’t know whether to be disappointed or to feel dumb that he thought he would have a chance. In this case, the boy was Lee Jeno—the school’s resident soft boy with a smile that brings the sun to shame and eyes filled with swirls of stardusts. He was the epitome of a brightly lit carousel with joyful children giggling on top of the carefully carved wooden animals.

“Snacks are five dollars, a gift is ten dollars, subtly mentioning you in a conversation is twenty dollars–I’m sure you know the prices!” Donghyuck waved his hand dismissively after he approached him with a pink milk carton in his hand.

Donghyuck didn’t give him a chance to explain himself after he set down the milk carton, but to be fair, he was stumbling over himself trying to find the right word to say. After hearing what he told him, he was rendered completely speechless as if he did not already know of his little business going on.

Donghyuck looked up from his lunch to see Jeno gazing down at him with an unreadable expression, that alone was enough to make his heart quiver in ways he hoped it didn’t, and he willed himself not to show him any sign of weakness by looking away from his pretty eyes.

Donghyuck sighed as he shifted his position. He set his lunchbox aside and cleared his throat. “Look, Jeno,” he started softly, “I don’t know why you would bother to come to me when you clearly shouldn’t be needing my help at all, but I really believe that you should hand this to him yourself. That will most definitely make you special because you see,” Donghyuck reached down his desk and picked up his signature pink paper bag that he used to store Jaemin’s presents. “All these cowards didn’t have the guts to, so you will stand out being the only one to hand him something directly.”

Jeno pursed his lips together, still unsure of what he should say.

The problem was never about whether or not he was brave enough to step up and confess to the guy he likes. He wasn’t a shy person, and he has had a fair share of people crushing on him before to confirm that he wasn’t exactly hopeless in the romantic department. If he has a guy in mind, he would confess, considering his chances of success were rather high.

He could have just as easily handed the drink to Jaemin himself, face to face, except he didn’t because he wasn’t sure if he really liked him or not. Everything felt more like a spur of the moment. He was more of a small crush, a feeling he could just toss aside if he really wanted to. However, his friends seemed to find it fascinating that their clueless boy finally mentioned a guy during one of their afterschool hangout sessions and decided to encourage him to give it a try despite his uncertainty in this matter.

Jeno complied and he thought his safest bet would be Donghyuck. What better way is there to know about Jaemin than to hang out with his hard-to-please best friend?

“Actually, instead of paying now, I have another idea,” Jeno said as he turned around to pull a chair over so he could sit across from Donghyuck.

Donghyuck eyed him carefully, a frown gracing his face as his alert level went up just in case Jeno tries to charm his way out of paying. That was not what he need today, especially not since he planned to get him and his father some good food and drinks from the local boba store that has overpriced but delicious combo meals. “Spill.” Donghyuck nudged his head his way, gesturing for him to talk.

“I was thinking we can pretend to become really close friends, best friends if you may, so I can have an excuse to hang out with you guys all the time and… you know where I am going with this, right?” He nodded, his fingers tapped nervously against the surface of the wooden desk.

“Oh I know, but I have a better idea,” Donghyuck crossed his arms as he leaned back with a sarcastic smile. “You can shove off right now and deal with it like the rest of the boys if you can’t even hand him the goddamn milk by yourself. Doesn’t that sound great?”

Jeno’s face fell. He had kind of expected this reaction, it was never good to hear someone blatantly point out that the only reason they want to be close to them was to get to their hotter friend. But of course, he was prepared for such an occasion, so he continued.

“I will pay you.”

Donghyuck raised his eyebrows briefly before he leaned forward to put his elbows on the desk and his chin on the back of his palm, his suspicious eyes grazing across Jeno’s face like ice. “Well?”

“If we are going to pretend to be best friends, then we might as hang out for real. I can pay for your food or drinks when we do and that can be the replacement for me directly paying you to be my fake friend and all the twenty dollars for bringing me up in a conversation,” Jeno suggested.

Donghyuck’s eyes dropped to the desk as numbers flew through his mind. He was calculating the cost and benefits of this deal on the imaginary paper on the table and he was getting a pretty good result.

Being friends with Jeno would not be such a bad thing. He never had any bad reputations and he does hang around with a group of nice people. He counts as a decent companion. Donghyuck might even get to break his awkward bubble and get more friends than just Jaemin, who had been busier than ever since he became a part of the student council and who most possibly would ditch him for someone else sooner or later.

“Deal,” Donghyuck held out his hand for him to shake, which he did with his signature bright smile and squinty eyes.

He pulled his hand away quickly, continuing to glance at him with an indifferent expression as he reminded himself that this wasn’t a bad deal. The worst case scenario was that Donghyuck fall madly in love with Jeno but he would make sure he keeps an eye out for any signs his heart and body make to be sure that it doesn’t happen.

**_2_ **.

It took a good ten minutes for the both of them to find each other in the huge shopping mall that Jeno had suggested the two hang out in for their first day of being pretend friends. Donghyuck clicked his tongue when he finally heard his screaming voice outside of the static phone sound and he looked around, pulling his phone away from his ear as hos eyes searched for the dark-haired boy within the sea of people.

“Donghyuck, there you are!” Jeno hung up the phone as he rushed over to him, stopping abruptly and placing a hand on his shoulder to steady himself once his legs stopped moving. When he did so, he cheekily smiled up at him, “Hi!”

Donghyuck inwardly cursed. It hasn’t even been ten seconds and his alarm was already subtly ringing at the back of his head. “It’s twelve o’ clock, did you drink five cups of coffee before coming here?” He moved away as he watched Jeno catch his breath, his brows furrowing.

Jeno stood up straight, a pursed smile on his face as he shook his head. “No, I don’t drink coffee.” He straightened the strap of his bag, “So, where do you want to go first?”

Donghyuck expected he would let him choose instead of recommending a place for the two to go, even though he was a regular to this shopping mall and Donghyuck was the newbie who knew absolutely nothing about this place. He would call it being considerate, but for now, he would settle any good traits that Jeno processes as an obstacle for his weak heart.

With a limited amount of knowledge (He was too lazy to search up anything other than the address), Donghyuck had prepared a list of what they could possibly do that wouldn’t give him too much enjoyment on this day with Jeno alone and would instead make progress regarding his path to pursue Jaemin.

First, style. This was a great chance for Donghyuck to see if Jeno dresses like Jaemin’s ideal types. If he does, then that problem is off his list and he would be dragging him to a fancy restaurant he saw on his way in. If he doesn’t, the two would be going on a trip to the clothing store and Donghyuck would be switching him up, and then it would be that fancy restaurant he saw on his way in.

Jeno widened his eyes in curiosity when Donghyuck stepped back to examine him. Not that he ever had any problem with the way he looked, people constantly tell him he was a good-looking kid and he believed them. Yet somehow, the unfamiliarity of his judgemental gaze was making him fidget a little.

Donghyuck hummed in approval. He has a nice sense of style, but a beanie and denim overall were too boyish for Jaemin’s liking, Donghyuck knew for a fact. “Shopping spree it is,” he announced loud enough for the both of them to hear as he grabbed a hold of his hand casually and started pulling him towards the first store he could see.

“You want to buy clothes?” Jeno asked him both walked through the entrance of the big store with faint pop music playing in the background and lights that were too bright shining down at unrealistically sized mannequins.

“Yes but they aren’t for me, they are for you,” he said as he dragged Jeno around the corner to the men section, where the wallpaper and the lights were unnecessarily changed into a darker shade to give the area a darker feel.

Jeno looked down at himself with a small frown, “Why, do I look weird today?”

“No, you’re fine! You just don’t dress like Jaemin’s type,” Donghyuck chuckled dryly as he went over to a clothing rack and started to move away shirt after shirt. What seemed to be like twenty clothing racks, he finally settled with a black turtleneck.

Donghyuck pulled it out and held it close to Jeno before nodding and throwing it over his forearm. Jeno could only trail behind him with a lost expression, letting him use his figure as a scale and sample for what he had picked out for him.

“Just curious, what is Jaemin’s type exactly?” He asked suddenly after Donghyuck pulled a white button-up shirt away from him and threw it over his forearm, stacking it over the other pieces.

Donghyuck pulled a face secretly. Truthfully, he never asked him exactly what type of people he liked, he were simply taking pieces from the fictional characters and celebrities he had specifically pointed out to him before. Donghyuck could be wrong for all he knew but he thought it was no big deal. Nothing could go too wrong with that gorgeous face of Jeno’s, could it?

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he laughed as he walked over to the fitting room. “I don’t know exactly, but it’s certainly not you.”

Grabbing the number tag from the entrance himself since there was no one supervising the place, he walked right into the hallway and picked an empty space. Jeno stopped next to him and Donghyuck slapped the clothes to his chest with a satisfied smile. He looked a little hesitant to walk in, so he gave him an encouraging pat.

“Go on, your mirror self is not going to kill you. If he really wanted to take over your life, he would have already done it.”

“I wasn’t scared of that!” He protested as Donghyuck closed the curtains. “I was just… I don’t know, I am not sure if this suits me, this isn’t what I usually wear,” he grumbled as he took off his bag and proceed to sort out the outfit he had matched out for him in the span of five minutes.

Donghyuck sat down on the waiting chair and crossed his legs. “Do it for Jaemin.”

A few moments passed with the two exchanging mindless words in an attempt to ease out the awkward tension that had erupted. Donghyuck heard him hop from outside before he called out in.

With a warning, Donghyuck opened the curtain and reveal Jeno looking directly into the mirror at himself, fixing the collar of the white button-down shirt.

His brows raised a little at the sudden change of his aura, a nice duality between feeling like your naive next door neighbor to that unapproachable rich boy who grows on you once you get to know him.

Jeno felt a moment of relief when he saw Donghyuck smile through the mirror. He turned to him with his mouth open to speak but he only managed out a strangled noise from the back of his throat when Donghyuck pulled him closer by the collar, an action he found somewhat attractive, and started to fix his shirt.

Jeno tensed up even more when Donghyuck’s hand slid down his chest, his palm pressing flat against the surface as his index finger tapped gently against it. It was the nonchalance of his action that seemed to flip a switch inside him that he didn’t know he had. Something that gave him hitched breathes and red cheeks.

Jeno had been this close to other people before, mostly with his close circle of friends, but those he often waves off as playful banter and nothing more. They had been friends for years and it was a normal thing for them to touch each other. But this was more than just annoying headlocks and embarrassing cheek kisses. This was making his heart race for an unknown reason.

“Jeno? Hello?”

“Yes?” He snapped out of his thoughts and oh, Donghyuck was still standing so close and his voice was coming off too high-pitched for his liking, “I–I think this is great. Not me, the outfit, of course.”

“Great, you can wear this when you two hang out,” Donghyuck said with a chuckle. “Hopefully next weekend, we can arrange it during lunch on Wednesday. I am going to pretend I will be going too but call in the last minute that I am sick so you two can have some alone time. Oh, this is going to work!”

“Wait, that quick?” He asked, panic laced in his voice. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Jeno, are you not?” he raised an eyebrow at him.

He lowered his head and Donghyuck could sense from his silence that he was troubled. He softened a little. Jeno wasn’t playing around, it seemed, he was really just a boy who was confused about his own feelings.

“Sit down with me, Jeno,” Donghyuck beckoned him over as he slid down the wall and sat with his legs stretched out, touching the other side easily. He complied silently, sitting down next to him also with his legs stretched out.

“How did you meet Jaemin? When was your ‘ding’ moment?” He asked, snapping his fingers to emphasize his words.

Jeno had an idea of what he meant. He had been forced to watch enough cheesy movies with his mother to know that it was the brief moment when the main protagonist realizes that they are in love. The character has been in love for the past episodes but it was that moment that gave them the certainty that the other person was who they want to spend the rest of their life with.

He looked up at the ceiling. There was never such a moment with Jaemin, but he decided to give Donghyuck an answer anyway.

“It wasn’t long, it was about a few weeks ago during sports day, actually. Remember I was in almost all the races because my class made me attend them all,” he groaned, recalling all the late practices with his friends. He could feel his legs go numb again at the icky feeling of sweat dripping down his jaw and soaking his shirt.

Donghyuck breathed out a chuckle. Jeno is a fast runner and everyone else hated that. The sounds of booing whenever his class wins another race was distant in his mind, mostly because his didn’t pay much attention to the activities going on and mostly spent his time with music blasting through his earplugs as he stared pointlessly at the flying dust made visible by the sun.

“Anyway, I overworked and I fainted at the end of the relay race. When I woke up, my head was on his lap and he was fanning me with the activity booklet.” He continued, “I think it was the sunlight or maybe because I was really dizzy at that time, he just appeared really gentle and pretty to me.”

It was a shallow answer, Jeno knew. It did make it sound like all he has for Jaemin was a small crush, there was a complete lack of seriousness in his feelings that Donghyuck might feel disapproval of. The fact that Jaemin could have been literally anyone else. He was fairly sure that Donghyuck caught onto that too, but still, he hummed in understanding.

“He is pretty like that, it makes you dizzy in the head,” Donghyuck muttered under his breath, a hint of envy he has never shown to the world leaked in his voice.

He was never the type to want attention. But there were times when Jaemin would dramatically read out his love letters to him on their way home together (which had stopped happening for a while now) and those gushy, loving words just rile him up with emptiness.

Donghyuck was never the type to want attention but he wouldn’t hate it to feel loved once in a while.

Jeno turned over to look at him. When it comes to the tone of envy and jealousy, he was an expert at detecting them due to his many years of spending time with his petty friends. He caught onto Donghyuck immediately, that usual blank expression on his face that honestly makes his heart drop every time he looks at him was present.

“Hey… I think you are–”

“You have other friends, right?” Donghyuck cut him off, jutting out his bottom lip as he looked up at Jeno’s baffled expression. “Oh shit, sorry, did you want to tell me something?”

Jeno cleared his throat at the close proximity and he turned to the other side, staring out the gap between the wall and the room curtain. “Yeah, but it’s fine. I do have a group of close friends. We have been close friends since middle school but not all of us study in our school.”

He smirked, shaking his head in defeat. “That’s so nice, I wish I had friends like that too. Anyway, who would you consider your best friend out of everyone in the group?”

Jeno looked up at the ceiling, humming in deep thoughts. It never occurred to him to ever choose one within the five of them, he always thought they all held an equal place in his heart. But if he had to pick one that sticks out?

“I have a picture, do you want to see?” He asked as he reached over to grab his bag where he pulled out his phone. Jeno’s smile was wide and playful as Donghyuck keyed in something, moving away from his nosy gaze. “Here, this is my best friend.”

When Donghyuck glanced at the screen, it took him a moment to process the fact that he was looking at his own face. He could hear Jeno’s amused giggle after he let out a short laugh of bewilderment. He pointed his index finger at himself, “Me?”

“Yeah, you,” he nodded excitedly.

“Are you sure?” Donghyuck groaned out, hos lips pursed into a grim line.

Jeno’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean do you really want to be best friends with someone like me,” he replied.

Jeno didn’t like the fact that there was not a hint of questioning tone in Donghyuck’s voice even though he worded it as one. “Why would I not, Donghyuck? You’re smart. How do you manage to rank top of the grade every time, I literally don’t get it. What study method do you use?”

Donghyuck laughed, “I don’t really study, I just do I guess?”

“No!” Jeno gasped out, turning to him as he lightly punched his arm, genuinely shocked at his new discovery. “You don’t study? Every teacher who teaches our grade are always like 'be more like Donghyuck, he studies hard’ but now you’re telling me you don’t?”

He shook his head with an awkward laugh. Maybe he was the center of attention, just not the good kind. “My memories are exceptionally well and you know, high school is all about remembering information and puking them out on the test later. I do a lot of reading, there isn’t anything special about it.”

“You need to help me, there is a huge history test on Thursday in my class, I think it is a cumulative chapter test, and I mean it when I say I slept through the whole semester,” Jeno said with giggles in between, remembering all the times the teacher slammed her hand on his desk to wake him up and the whole class was full of snickers and playful jokes that meant no harm (and none was taken).

“I am not a miracle worker, Jeno. You can’t cram everything within four days,” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, “Well, I can but I am different.”

“You are special,” he shook his shoulder with a teasing smile, nudging his side.

He laughed, his shoulder slumping in relaxation. That was when Donghyuck finally realized he had been keeping an eye on how he appeared to be like in his eyes the entire time, it was only now that he finally let that trouble go since Jeno didn’t seem to dislike him in any way. In fact, he was able to act jokingly around Donghyuck, and that was the first step for this fake relationship to hopefully blossom into something real.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” Donghyuck hummed comfortably as he bumped his forehead against his shoulder.

“For what?” Jeno laughed, looking over at him.

He only shrugged, “You don’t have to know. Anyway, are you in for Wednesday lunch or do I have to haul your ass over to our table?”

Jeno absent-mindedly nodded, “See you in the cafeteria.”

“Great, if you both don’t get out of there now you will be seeing your parents in the security office,” a knock came through the wall as a voice warned.

Donghyuck clamped a hand to his mouth to stop himself from laughing as he stood up. “I’ll wait just outside,” he said before leaving, ignoring the line of people waiting outside.

**_3_ **.

Donghyuck left the classroom quickly after receiving a message from Jeno, who arrived at school later than he had expected, on the day he told him he were going to try something new with his hair as an experiment to how Jaemin would react too.

Donghyuck made his way to the bottom floor of the school, where the school library was, and when he turned the corner, he immediately saw Jeno sitting on one of the school supply boxes located in the empty space just below the stairs.

When he heard quickened footsteps, he snapped his head up and smile up at Donghyuck as he approached him with a dissatisfied expression. He clicked his tongue, pinching his soft cheeks in between his fingers and tugging at them lightly. “You’re so late, I only have about five minutes to work on your hair.”

“I’m sorry, but it was hard for creep into mom and dad’s room without them waking up,” Jeno apologized sheepishly as he pulled out the comb and hair spray he got from home, stolen from his parents’ bathroom. “What are you planning to do?”

“Bangs make you look adorable and innocent, which I suppose is not a bad thing, but I reckon Jaemin likes the more mature type so I am giving your forehead a breath of fresh hair,” Donghyuck said, gently running his hand through his soft black locks as he thought about where to start. “Don’t worry, I tested this out with my dad, it works. My mom can vouch.”

Jeno smiled at the mention of his parents whom he had seen for two consecutive days. The two continued to hang out on weekdays, surprisingly, and he had the chance to meet Jeno’s best friend whose name he came to know is Huang Renjun.

The two got to know each other a lot more since their relationship started from nothing. There were the little things like how Jeno prefers fruit juice over tea and coffee, and he orders his drinks seventy-five percent sweet. There were also bigger, more important things like him finding out that Donghyuck’s mother was currently living in the hospital due to serious brain cancer and his father had been working extra hours to hopefully earn enough to pay the medical bills.

Jeno was glad Donghyuck told him about it. It showed that he was slowly warming up to him just as he was slowly opening up to Donghyuck.

“How is she? Is she doing well?” He asked as he gently placed his hands on Donghyuck’s waist to steady himself as he felt the drowsiness that he fought off on his way to school coming back to his eyes. The way his fingers were running through his hair did nothing to help with his sleepiness.

“She’s been better before,” Donghyuck replied with a bitter laugh that he wouldn’t have let out if he was in the hospital room where his parents were around.

Despite the poor financial and health condition his family was going through, Donghyuck’s parents managed to make light of the situation and live as if nothing was wrong, and to Jeno that was really motivational. However, Donghyuck, on the other hand, was never that enthusiastic about the possibility of losing his mother.

Jeno understood his concerns regarding his mother’s health but at the same time feeling the need to comply with what they wanted, which in this case was to pretend nothing bad was happening, so he didn’t respond with anything further than a slight nod.

Donghyuck pulled away to look at him then, his brows furrowed seriously as he mumbled something that was unintelligible to Jeno despite the close distance between the two.

“What do you think, Donghyuck?” He asked suddenly. “Which hairstyle suits me better?”

“You?” he chuckled thoughtfully, “I think you can pull off any, to be honest.”

“Then which one do you like best?”

“I like it better when it’s a little curly and it kind of covers your eyes but I can still see the little gleams of stars in them,” Donghyuck complimented with a soft voice, “Like when we hung out on Sunday. That was a good look on you.”

“Gleams of stars?” Jeno laughed jokingly.

Donghyuck nodded, “Mmhmm! See, this is the thing about you, Jeno. You don’t know you’re attractive at all. I don’t know how because the mirror is right around the corner but I guess it’s good that it eliminates the chances of you acting obnoxious about it.”

Jeno nodded, a friend of his instantly coming into mind. He pouted a little. They had suggested meeting up with Donghyuck several times since they were curious to who he was (oh yes, Jeno does slip him into the conversation once or twice), but there was this underlying feeling that was irking Jeongin that made him not want to introduce him to the rest of his also very good-looking friends or possibly even more attractive than he was, in terms of both appearances and personality.

It was a type of uncertainty, a moment of jealousy that Donghyuck wouldn’t have thought was for him even if Jeno had expressed it blatantly that he didn’t like the thought of him enjoying his other friends’ presence too much, or possibly more than he enjoyed his.

Donghyuck would have thought it was for Jaemin.

Jeno sucked in a quick breath, hating this slimy feeling in his chest. Turning to Donghyuck, his pout deepened the slightest, and he seemed to have taken that expression as doubt. He cooed in response, pinching the bridge of Jeno’s nose, “Aww, don’t worry. We will make sure Jaemin likes you, okay? We can do this!”

There was a bitter feeling in Donghyuck’s heart as soon as his voice dropped but he ignored it.

“Really?” He slurred out, pouting.

“Of course, how can he not?”

Jeno licked his lip as he contemplated whatever he meant by that. Searching for any dropped hints within his words, if there was any to begin with. He later looked up at him, unknowingly leaning his chin against Donghyuck’s tummy as his eyes shone with a kind of admiration that he didn’t know was reserved for him.

“Do you?” Jeno asked quietly, his voice coming out as a whisper.

Donghyuck’s radar was going nuts once he met eyes with him, and as much as his mind was telling him to peel his gaze away, he couldn’t. No one has ever looked at him like that before, something akin to adoration that he was never felt, and he wanted to bask in this moment for as much as he could before it goes away completely. How Jeno was able to make him feel this way was beyond his control and imagination.

“Do I what?” Donghyuck blurted out, laughing nervously as he paid attention to ruffling his hair, completely messing up what you had done before attempting to fix it up again.

“Do you like me?”

The bell rang and he breathed out a sigh of relief as he let his hands fall to his side. He stepped away from Jeno, the weight of his hands on Donghyuck’s waist and his chin on his tummy left a somewhat hollow feeling in his chest. This was a dilemma. Does he act friendly and risk convincing himself that he does like Jeno by admitting he does or does he completely isolate his true feelings in order to prevent a potential heartbreak?

Donghyuck chuckled with a brief reply, “It doesn’t matter what I feel.”

Jeno shoulder slumped and his heart ached a bit.

How could it not?

It mattered the most to him at that moment.

**_4_ **.

Jeno didn’t plan to have everyone tag along on this study session. He had expected to be just the two of them, maybe Renjun if he really needed help. But of course, the universe changed his dream lane however much it wanted and crammed all his friends of the same grade in his home.

Books of all subjects were scattered across the living room desk, with empty mugs and empty snack wrapping papers threatening to fall off the edge of the wooden table. Donghyuck had thought it would be a simple history review for Jeno’s test he had mentioned, but it turned into a chemistry review for Xiaojun, math practice for Chenle and Jisung, and the most hopeless one of them all—Liu Yangyang with his biology test.

Yangyang had asked Donghyuck so many questions in the span of two minutes that the others decided that they would turn to the internet and each other for help instead of asking him questions, all for him to pay his utmost attention to Yangyang.

“How do you–” Donghyuck paused in mid-sentence after checking the practice test Yangyang’s teacher gave out. When he heard his panicked yell, he quieted down instead. “How bad do you have to be to get such a low score, this is basically a vocabulary test.”

Donghyuck breathed a heavy sigh as he placed the paper on top of the table before pulling on his chair so he could sit closer to Yangyang, who has his cheeks stuffed with sweet crackers. Donghyuck glanced at him once, watching him munch away as he blinked at him innocently, and he chuckled in defeat.

“Okay, listen up, Yang-ah,” he cooed, pointing at his mock test paper.

Jeno looked up from his worksheet, his expression was unreadable but the creases on his forehead pretty much conveyed his thoughts. His grip on the blue pen unknowingly tightened the more Donghyuck praised Yangyang for getting a concept right for the first time. He dared not to look up, seeing him watch Yangyang struggle with those hopeful eyes of his would only make his chest threaten to burst even more.

“Damn, I don’t want to do this anymore,” Xiaojun threw his pen across the desk before he leaned against the back of the chair with a tired groan. “When are we ever going to use these?”

“Uh, I don’t know, Xiaojun, during the math test perhaps?” Renjun rolled his eyes as he retorted, catching the pen and throwing it back to Xiaojun.

Xiaojun clicked his tongue in annoyance, a deadpan expression on his face. “I know, but I mean in real life! I don’t plan to be a mathematician! I want to be a dancer!”

Donghyuck stepped in casually then as Yangyang was redoing a long question from his test. “Dancing requires counting too, doesn’t it?”

Xiaojun turned to him. He pressed his index finger to his lips and shook his head, “Shh, Donghyuck, you don’t get to complain when you’re not failing.”

“Okay, whatever floats your boat, pretty boy,” he laughed, holding his hands up in mock defeat.

Chenle laughed then, looking up from the many formulas. “Don’t tell him that, you’re going to send his ego out to space and it will never come back down.”

“You didn’t hear it from me but honestly, you get the right to be cocky about your looks, Xiaojun,” Donghyuck shrugged, “Just don’t go too far, people hate it.”

“Do you?”

Jeno finally looked up upon hearing the familiar question. He asked him this in the morning and part of him expected Donghyuck to give Xiaojun the same reaction. But he didn’t,he laughed and he shrugged and he joked around with Jeno’s friends while he sat at his chair in complete silence. It bothered him to think that he didn’t need his presence to be as happy as he is.

“Jeno?”

He looked over to Jeno and instantly, he relaxed. Donghyuck’s concerned eyes watched him while he repeated his question, “Jeno are you okay? You look really out of it, do you need help?”

It took him too long to answer. Renjun beat him to saying something first, “He is fine. He is probably thinking about the date with Jaemin this week. Did you guys know he scored one, with me and Donghyuck’s help, of course.”

Jisung yelled, “This is why your hair looks like this today!”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe Jeno is the first one to score a girl within all of us!” Chenle threw his hands up in the air, but his cheery tone indicated that he was happy about his friend was getting his feelings reciprocated.

Donghyuck laughed awkwardly, trying to hide the bitterness laced at the tip of his tongue. The entire lunchtime he had kept his focus on Renjun so he wouldn’t have to listen in on the conversation between Jeno and Jaemin and witness their growth happen right before his eyes.

Not once did he bring the topic up again after school ended and the three made their way to Jeno’s house, yet somehow Jaemin managed to resurface. As the boys discussed, in a sappy manner, of all the cute couple ideas they have in store for the two of them, Donghyuck was busy trying to tune out their conversation but to no avail.

His ears seemed to keep picking up signs on how Jeno would never, never ever, fall in love with someone as mediocre as him.

“Yangyang,” Donghyuck said when he glanced at Yangyang’s unfinished answer on the question he asked him to work on again, “Yangyang can you finish this so we can move on?”

He did not hear Donghyuck over the munching of chocolate biscuits and his giggles, too immersed in throwing his teasing towards the youngest boy in the room. Therefore, when Donghyuck pinched his cheek to gain his attention, he was a bit shocked.

“I’m sorry, but you have at least twenty more questions to go, Yang. Unless you plan to stay with me overnight, I suggest you finish this as quick as possible so I can help you with it,” Donghyuck explained his action calmly, pulling away after soothing the spot on his cheek briefly, feeling apologetic about taking his intolerance out on him.

There it was again. The hopelessness, the feeling of utter defeat. The green monster lurking in his chest had been walking over his heart during lunch when Jeno was unsure what Donghyuck was laughing about with Renjun when the two were seated right next to him, and it just started to stomp around due to the abrupt care he’d shown for Yangyang.

It was such a casual thing and he hated that it was making him feel such strong emotions.

“Uh, actually, mom and dad say they are coming back so I think you guys should leave now,” he stood up suddenly, looking at his phone as if his parents had sent him a message.

Chenle frowned, “What? No way, I really need help with this–ah! Let’s exchange numbers so I can text you about it.”

“Or, an even better idea,” Jeno reached out, his hand slamming just a bit too hard on the table and startling all of the boys. The smile on his face was nonetheless, innocent. “I can help you with biology, or Mark-hyung can help you, he’s good at it.”

Donghyuck furrowed his brows at his sudden change of tone. As his friends started to pack their belongings, Jeno’s past actions long gone from their mind as they started to talk about getting together to watch a movie over the weekend, Donghyuck stood up as well.

He waited for everyone to leave the door and there was only the two of them in the living room before he reached for his pocket where he had placed his phone.

“I don’t know what is going on with you, Jeno, but you need to unwind a little,” Donghyuck said as he scrolled through his phone.

“What are you doing?” Jeno asked, peeking at his phone as soon as he set it down on the table, turning up the volume so the song could be heard clearly.

Donghyuck smiled as the song played, tapping his feet against the floor rhythmically. “I’ve never done this with anyone else before so don’t laugh at me, okay?” Donghyuck said as he moved over to his side, “When I get stressed, I dance. I found it online that dancing makes you happy, so I tried it and guess what, it actually worked!”

Jeno was still trying to process what was going on as Donghyuck started to hum along with the tune of the catchy song and move his hips to the beat.

“Come on, dance with me! Just do whatever, there are no rules here!’ Donghyuck encouraged, approaching him and grabbing a hold of his hand as he sang along.

A smile slowly spread across his face. Jeno let Donghyuck lead him. He let him bring him around the table, around the living room because he was too occupied with basking in the sight of Donghyuck enjoying himself to think of anything else.

His heart warmed at his laugh as Donghyuck twirl himself around, Jeno’s hand going up before landing at the side of his waist. The two stood at a distance but somehow this moment felt more intimate than ever. It was just the two of them, dancing and singing together, letting themselves loose comfortably in a safe place.

"Are you feeling better?” Donghyuck asked, wide-eyed with anticipation.

Jeno nodded eagerly, “Yeah.”

And Donghyuck smiled. A genuine, bright smile that he had never seen before and wanted to see all the time for the rest of his life. Jeno’s jaw dropped slightly as a content sigh escaped his lips.

He looked so pretty, so stunning, so beautiful. It was making him dizzy in the head.

Jeno found out now. He had always known, he just couldn’t be sure, but he knew now. Why he was feeling pangs in his heart whenever Donghyuck was near and whenever he was not around. Why he got himself clenching his jaw and gripping his pen when he was chatting away with other boys. Why he couldn’t feel any excitement in his heart when his friends were just rambling on and on about his future relationship with Jaemin, the boy he thought he loved.

It was him. The one he ended up falling for wasn’t Jaemin. It was Donghyuck. He wouldn’t say that he loves him yet, but he was sure his heart was set on Donghyuck.

This was his _ding_ moment.

**_5_ ** **.**

Hanging out with Jaeemin was awkward for Jeno, he thought maybe it was the fact that he might have thought this was going somewhere for the two of them. If it was only a friendly date, it would have been fine, but something about the way he acts was telling him otherwise.

Jeno wasn’t sure why he continued with it anyway when he knew he held no special interest to the bot sitting in front of him. He was mostly doing it for Donghyuck since he was so excited about setting him up with someone else, so exaggeratedly eager that he was annoyed by it.

“I was a little disappointed by what happened, but I guess I should really get over it,” Jaemin said before taking a sip of his cold drink.

The two were walking around the street after eating lunch, unsure of what the next step was. It took about three stores and five food stands for Jaemin to finish his story about what happened in the student council meeting just this week and since Jeno didn’t really have anything in common regarding that topic, he only nodded with a smile.

Jaemin hummed at his response, a faint smile playing at his lips. “I can’t tell if I am boring you to death or if you are just a great listener, Jeno,” he sighed, “How about you tell me something about yourself?”

“Oh no, I like listening to people talk,” he protested, “You should tell me more.”

“No, I don’t want to sound annoying. Just tell me something, anything,” Jaemin waved his hand dismissively.

Jeno fumbled with the words in his head, trying to find something remotely interesting about himself that he actually felt willing enough to disclose to someone he barely talked to. He opened his mouth, letting out a thoughtful noise just as his phone rang.

Apologizing quietly, he pulled it out of his pocket and his brows furrowed the slightest when he saw Donghyuck’s name on the screen. Accepting it quickly, he brought it to his ear, eager to hear his voice. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

He kept silent as he stood before the hospital bed, Donghyuck’s expression blank as a white canvas as he stared at his mother’s sleeping form after the heart monitor had stopped. Donghyuck weren’t sure why Jeno was the first person he called, but his heart was calling for him so he did so without thinking twice.

“Hyuck?”

Donghyuck inhaled deeply, “Jeno… my mom… she…”

Jeno’s heart dropped. He could tell by the sound of his dull voice and how he had referred to his mother. He pursed his lips into a grim line, “I’m coming over, okay? You hang in there, I’m coming to get you.”

“What’s wrong?” Jaemin asked when Jeno hung up, his eyes wide.

Jeno licked his lower lip. He knew that Donghyuck was never as close to Jaemin as everyone thought they were and he wasn’t sure if it was his place to tell him about his mother’s condition. He scratched the back of his neck, “Um, something came up, I should go.”

“I heard you say Donghyuck, what’s happened to him?” He pressed on, taking a step closer and causing Jeno to stumble back.

“I think it would be best if you ask him yourself, but right now, I really need to go,” he pressed his hands together and lowered his head apologetically, “I’m sorry, thank you for today, though. I had fun!”

When he finally got onto the bus, there was a sense of guilt blossoming in his chest that he had left Jaemin along in the streets, but he was able to brush it off quickly when the concern over Donghyuck’s emotional well-being came flooding into his head. He tapped his feet as he glanced out the window, only wanting the bus to go faster.

It took him only minutes to arrive, thanks to the fact that the hospital was not located too far away and the traffic was feeling extra generous. When he arrived at Donghyuck’s floor, he quickly rushed to the room he had once brought him to, but before he could even approach the room, he saw nurses pushing Donghyuck’s mother down the hall, bringing her to the morgue.

Jeno paused at the sight, his breath hitching in his throat as the rolling bed brushed past his arm. His eyes traveled from the back of the nurse to the front, where he finally saw Donghyuck’s figure standing by the door, staring into space.

“Hey…”

He perked up at the sound and relaxed when he saw Jeno. He examined his face for any trace of discomfort but much to his surprise, he saw nothing. Donghyuck’s eyes felt empty, but they appeared normal. There were no tear stains down his cheek, his lips weren’t arched downwards into a frown. Donghyuck was not in the state Jeno expected him would be.

“I was heading out to get grocery, I was going to make porridge for mom but then dad called me and I rushed here,” Donghyuck said, tugging at the end of his sleeve as his eyes shakily darted everywhere else but at Jeno.

“Where is your dad?”

“He went to the restroom after, um,” Donghyuck turned his head to the side when his name was called by a familiar voice.

Jeno watched as his father, who looked like an absolute wreck compared to Donghyuck, approach. He politely moved away so Donghyuck could talk to his father.

“Dad…”

“It’s okay, Donghyuck, I’m just… I’m just going to talk to the doctor and sign the paperwork, you wait here for me, okay?” He cut him off quickly before turning around and walking away.

Donghyuck’s widened eyes followed his father’s back. He had never seen him look this messy before. Sad eyes and broken smile was not a familiar expression to grace his parents’ faces, he was not used to it, it gave him anxiety and he hated it. When Donghyuck turned around, his eyes briefly moving past the room number, the number he had carved in his memory, another pang hit his chest.

The room is empty now.

Donghyuck’s eyes met Jeno for the first time and something clicked in his head. Donghyuck didn’t have to put on a strong face. His safe place was here. It was just Jeno and no one else. And He finally had to courage to break down.

Jeno took notice of when his hands started to tremble and his eyes started to spark with tears. He reached forward as Donghyuck did so too in the form of stumbles and he caught him before he could fall to the floor in hopelessness.

Jeno pulled him along with him to sit on the chairs, his expression hardened as Donghyuck’s pent up cries echoed through the hallway, rendering the atmosphere darker than ever. He said nothing and simply let him stain his shirt with tears as his hand pressed consolingly on his head.

Jeno thought that was what Donghyuck needed the most now.

**_6 ._ **

Donghyuck woke up tiredly, feeling the puffiness of his eyes and the dryness of his mouth. Immediately, he turned to hie nightstand where a half glass of water was located and drank it down, not giving any care on how long it had been there for.

Laying back down, he turned to the other side and let out a small gasp when he found Jeno sleeping just next to him. His eyes softened as he examined him carefully, watching the way his chest rise and fall to the beat of his breathing as memories of yesterday came back to him. Everything was faint for now, which was fortunate, but he were sure Jeno had been there.

Somehow Donghyuck knew he had sat with him until he got too tired and fell asleep, and he had stayed with him ever since.

“Thank you so much, Jeno,” Donghyuck whispered as he gently pulled the cover over to him, bringing it up to his shoulder.

Alert at the slightest movement, he opened his eyes. It took him a moment to adjust even though the room was dim and the only lights were through the gaps of Donghyuck’s curtain. He looked over to him first and he breathed out, “Good morning… are you feeling better?”

He shook his head honestly, hiding his chin under the cover. He didn’t want to think about that this early in the morning when he knew that it would be the only topic lurking in his head and the only thing being discussed with his father for the day. Donghyuck wanted the quiet morning to be when he could drown in the moment of peaceful denial.

“I’m sorry for calling you, did I ruin the date?” Donghyuck asked.

Jeno shook his head slowly, his mind still hazy. “No, you didn’t. It’s okay.” He mumbled as he mindlessly draped his arm over Donghyuck’s figure, not sure if he was going to pull him closer or just to scoot over. He went with the first one, pushing his hand against his back. “You’re more important.”

Donghyuck had expected his cheeks to heat up at the distance but somehow this felt familiar. This warmth of limbs tangled together, the sound of his lazy groan as he shifted ever so slightly but his arm remained around his waist protectively, the beating of his heart speeding down to normal rather than pounding erratically—it all seemed to fit into place as if this closeness was supposed to happen, as if it was just another normal Sunday morning with someone he’s been with for as long as he could remember.

It filled Donghyuck up with happiness so easily and so strongly that he felt afraid of the arrival of the moment when this morning comes to an end.

This felt like love.

“Jeno?” he called out softly and he hummed without opening his eyes, a smile gracing his perfect lips.

“Nothing… I’m just… sleepy,” Donghyuck muttered under his breath before moving closer, pressing his cheek against his shoulder.

Jeno nudged his head with his jaw, acknowledging the fact that he had cuddled up to him and letting him stay there.

This was Donghyuck’s _ding_ moment, he strongly believed.

**_7_ ** **.**

A few weeks had passed. Donghyuck was recovering slowly with Jeno’s help, and that was the only thing he focused on. There was no denying that the tension between the two got different and at some point, Jeno would do or say something that gives Donghyuck delusional thoughts that he might just actually like him instead.

Donghyuck accused himself of being dumb whenever that thought popped up.

Even so, he had not forgotten about his own policy. Fine, so he fell in love with Jeno, that’s fine, just don’t do anything about it. Donghyuck had pushed those thoughts to the very back of his heart, ignoring them in hopes they could turn to dust eventually before he needed to leave.

It did not work out too well for him. The final day had arrived sooner than he had anticipated and he decided that the only way for him to get over Jeno once and for all was to make sure he becomes unavailable, so here Donghyuck was, standing in the hallway with him alone after everyone had left.

“I thought it took you long enough and I am pretty sure he likes you as well, Jeno,” he said, ignoring the way his brows arched in confusion. “I told him to wait in the music room so you can finally confess!”

Jeno stayed silent for a moment, his gaze hardened and his jaw clenched. Pain flashed before his eyes for a moment as he spoke, “Are you serious?”

Donghyuck nodded, “Yeah.”

“You don’t mind, at all, that we get together?”

The sun hit his face, shinning on his beautiful eyes and delicate skin. It was teasing Donghyuck, it was pushing the love back to the front and he clenched his fist to keep himself at bay.

“No,” Donghyuck lied with a smile. When he didn’t budge, he gave Jeno an encouraging pat, “Come on now, don’t do this, you’re making him wait.”

Jeno sighed in defeat as he grabbed a hold of Donghyuck’s hand, “Yet it somehow didn’t occur to you that you’re making _me_ wait.”

Donghyuck breathed out shakily, terrified at the connotation of his words and the way Jeno’s eyes stared longingly at his lips. He didn’t need this right now, not when he was about to leave this place. “What are you talking about, Jeno?”

“I’m talking about this,” he replied quickly before he kissed Donghyuck.

His eyes widened and as much as he wanted to continue, he pulled away, “Wait, no–We can’t.”

Jeno stayed close to Donghyuck, his voice hoarse, “Why? Do you not love me? Because I do, I really fucking do and the feeling is tearing me apart.”

“No, I do, so much but I’m leaving to Busan, Jeno,” Donghyuck blurted finally, running his thumb over his hand. “My aunt lives there and after mom died, she offered to help dad out, and they decided that we can move there.”

God, saying it out loud made Donghyuck’s heart wince. The thought of not being able to see Jeno again broke him.

Jeno blinked as he processed his words. “No… no, when–when are you going?”

“Tomorrow morning, today is my last day.”

“And you never told me?” He pulled away, sadness and betrayal flooded his voice and his eyes. “You plan to just leave me here?”

“I–that was before I knew you liked me, Jeno! I'm–” Donghyuck pursed his lips before he exhaled, “I’m sorry. I was a coward, I didn’t want to say goodbye again. Please don’t be mad at me.”

He softened, even though the news was making his chest ache more than ever. Donghyuck had his reasons, he didn’t want to make him feel as if he were at fault in this situation. Things had been hard for him and the last thing Jeno wanted was to add more pressure.

Jeno stepped up, taking Donghyuck’s hands in his. He gulped, nervous, “Do you have to leave?”

He nodded hesitantly, “Yeah, my dad needs me, it will be best that I go with him.”

“Okay…” He muttered after exhaling deeply, acceptance suddenly overcoming him. “But don’t think this means I’m letting you go, Hyuck. You might not know, but I am a very patient guy.”

Donghyuck smiled, moving closer and nudging his nose against his before pressing his lips against Jeno tightly again. This time, he let himself free, drowning in the moment, enjoying the way the two fit so perfectly together and the closeness he was sure he wouldn’t get with anyone else.

And this was goodbye.

**_8_ ** **.**

A year passed. Jeno had already graduated and he was about to start his first year in university with his friends. He wasn’t sure if he was glad that they got to spend more time with each other or be annoyed that he had to deal with their stupidity every day, but having them by his side eased his longing for Donghyuck immensely.

“God, can you get any more annoying?” Renjun rolled his eyes at Yukhei, who kept on flipping back and forth with what he wanted to get for his drinks.

Jeno laughed at Yukhei’s childish reaction as Mark played with his hand, as he does. It took five minutes for their order to arrive and they left for the parking lot, preparing to enjoy the very last of their summer vacation.

As they left the elevator and entered the dimly lit area, Jeno’s eyes traveled across the faces of his friend then, his brows furrowing as a hint of paranoia hit him. He felt like he was being watched and it sent him shivers.

When he faced forward again, standing over by Yukhei’s car, his eyes landed on a familiar face and they widened. Donghyuck chuckled playfully to him upon seeing his reaction and he waved when Jeno regained his composure.

Donghyuck looked different. He grew and his hair changed, but he managed to keep his style. Jeno pulled away from Chenle who was still clinging onto him, causing him to whine, but Jeno couldn’t care less. Taking big steps, he hurried over to Donghyuck just as he opened his arms welcomingly for him to walk right into his embrace.

He had thought about this in his head more times than he would like to admit. What he would do when Donghyuck returned back to him. At one point he got scared that things would grow awkward between them two, or that he would have found someone more suitable for him, but it seemed like all his fears were unnecessary.

“When did you come back?” He asked, his voice muffled as he burried his head at the croak of his neck. He sniffed, letting his faint perfume scent engulf him and replacing the dry smell of the parking lot. The real thing really could not compare to chatting online, could it? “I missed you so much.”

“Yesterday night. Ask Renjun about it, he knew already,” Donghyuck replied before looking up, sending Renjun a small wave and a thankful smile for keeping his return a secret.

Jeno tightened his grip on Donghyuck’s frame, the only thing he was able to utter out was the fact that he had missed him so much. Donghyuck giggled, running his hand through his soft hair in reminiscent, missing him even though he was right here with him.

“I’m attending a university here, dad actually let me come,” Donghyuck informed, “But he said I had to stay with you since I have no other close friends in Seoul and he trusts you to be here for me.”

Jeno hummed as he planted a kiss on the nape of Donghyuck’s neck, smiling at the fact that him father approved of him. “Not a problem.” He said as he pulled away slightly. Looking at him through his long bangs with a wide smile, he whispered longingly, “I can still kiss you, right? Or do I have to pay for that first?”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes as a hearty laugh left his lips. “Just kiss me, Jeno.”

He did, sealing their lips shut by pressing his against Donghyuck’s in a breathtaking kiss that spoke a thousand words. Donghyuck smiled into it, his pounding heart slowing down to a steady heartbeat.

It felt the same, everything was the same. It was normal, loving, a daily routine; It all still feel like that morning, where everything fits into place, as love does.


End file.
